In this article:
Go team go
But I'm an individual
Community pride
So many choices, so little time
How many is too many?
Wasn't this supposed to be fun?
Balance: How to keep practices positive
How parents can be helpful

Ten-year-old Jake has been playing organized house league sports since he was five years old. Every year he plays hockey in the winter and baseball in summer. His mother Jennifer Mackenzie says that the experience has been very positive for the most part. “Jake enjoys the sports he plays and has developed skills I never could have taught him,” she says. “He and I have both made good friends and the opportunity to learn team playing has been valuable. Lessons such as sportsman-like behaviour...working through disappointments and victories have all been a chance to continue learning for both of us.”

Go Team Go
Team sports are everywhere nowadays - it isn’t like the old days when many of us got by with unsupervised street games. A national study showed that an estimated 87 percent of Canadian children participated in organized activities outside of school. Why are parents signing up their kids in droves? One reason could be that this modern day rite of passage is viewed as a vehicle through which we can transmit societal values to our children.

Dr. Howard Winston, Medical Director for the Centre for Health & Sports Medicine in Toronto, says that there is great merit in a child being involved in team sports. “The team concept teaches the child to be selfless,” says Dr. Winston. He points out that often in life we work as a team. On the sports field kids learn to contribute to a common goal. They have a responsibility to their fellow team members to attend games, to perform at their highest level, to pass to their teammates so that all are included. They also learn social skills and sometimes develop great camaraderie with their teammates.

Long-time volunteer coach, Jeff Upton, who is also a school principal in Thunder Bay, Ontario, says that team sports lay the groundwork for a healthy lifestyle. They increase general fitness especially in this day and age when there are so many non-active alternatives for kids to do. Dr. Merilee Zetaruk, Director of Pediatric Sport and Dance Medicine at Winnipeg’s Children’s Hospital, concurs. “Regular physical activity reduces obesity in childhood and adolescence and organized sport is one way for children to get regular exercise,” she says. To break it down further, the health benefits include: improved cardiovascular system, better gross and fine motor skills, muscle building, weight control and stress reduction, according to Lorna Blumen, a parent educator with the Parent Education Network in Toronto.

But I'm an Individual
Of course, depending on ability and personality, some children are going to prefer individual sports such as swimming or martial arts. There are pluses to these pursuits as well, says Sara Dimerman, Therapist and Founder of the Parent Education and Resource Centre in Thornhill Ontario. She points out that individual sports offer a child the opportunity to progress at his or her own pace. She believes that personal best should be stressed at all times. “Although children are often encouraged by coaches and parents to place first and beat his/her peers...beating one’s own time record in a swim competition may be more rewarding for a child than placing first.”

Community Pride
Another positive aspect of organized sports is that they usually take place within the child’s own community. According to Brian Waterman, Community Recreation Coordinator for the City of Toronto, there is much value in having children participate in sports within their own communities. He explains that children feel pride in representing their community through their teams. They also get to know facilities and services that are available in the community.

And then there is the convenience factor. “We all lead busy lives,” says Waterman. “Having your child participate in sports and activities that are close to home in their community means less time for travel and less waiting. Therefore parents have extra time to prepare meals, spend time with the family and help kids with their homework and to get chores done.”

Parent educator Lorna Blumen also sees community building as important. “Having a social network beyond school gives kids courage to try other unfamiliar situations,” she says. “...Kids begin to notice that wherever they go they know someone there...it makes the world seem smaller and makes our kids feel better connected to it.”

So Many Choices, So Little Time
Today’s families have many choices when it comes to picking the type of sport or activity to sign up for. Within each sport there are several levels available, from non-competitive to highly competitive. Considering the huge commitment of time and money, it is crucial to make a well-thought- out decision.

The first step is to research the sports leagues or activities that are available in your area. This can be done through schools, teachers, local newspapers and the media, community centres and local municipal government offices. The Ministry of Tourism and Recreation recognizes more than 81 Provincial Sport Organizations in Ontario. However, most often kids and their parents learn about different sports leagues through word of mouth. But before you sign junior up there are many factors to consider.

Think about your child’s age, ability, sports background, personality and interests. Look at what kids have fun doing in the own backyards as a starting point. Dr. Winston points out that there is also your own situation to consider.

“The level of time commitment is critical for a parent to access before agreeing to allow your child to participate in a given sport,” he says. Certain sports, such as hockey, are more expensive and involve more driving. While a good network of parents to share the load can help in this regard, Dr. Winston suggests that parents have a discussion with their child about how serious they are about a particular sport before investing in it. Meeting fundraising expectations is another issue that can be a deal-breaker for some parents. Making sure that the money and time commitments are manageable is essential before committing to a particular sport.

How Many is Too Many?
Research shows that it is beneficial for children to participate in a variety of physical activities rather than limiting themselves to one sport at a young age. Says Dr. Zetaruk: “Each sport builds a certain set of skills and requires some degree of repetitive training to achieve these. One result of repetitive training is increased overuse injuries which were essentially non-existent in childhood before the introduction of organized sport.” However, Dr. Lois Baron, a professor of education at Concordia University in Montreal, points out that some of her students have told her that they regretted not being allowed to specialize in a particular sport. It is important to look at individual differences and the motivation of both parent and child in order to make an appropriate decision.

Wasn't This Supposed to be Fun?
One point cannot be stressed enough. Organized sports are supposed to be FUN for the CHILD. It shouldn’t be about what sport the parent used to do or wanted to do as a child. We’ve all witnessed horrific situations in which parents or coaches verbally attack children during games. We must constantly remind ourselves that we are doing this to help our children to be happy and healthy.

Upton gives a telling example of how his then five-year-old daughter taught him this lesson many years ago. One day after a painful string of soccer games, in which her team did not play well, he made a comment that her team sucked. Without missing a beat she said “well Dad you suck”. “This was a lifelong reminder,” says Upton “of why she was playing and why I was there to be a positive supportive parent. She was having fun no matter what the outcome was.”

This doesn’t mean that there won’t be some kids who excel at certain supports and who find competition fun. They might want to go from the House League level, which is open to all, to the Select or Rep levels which are much more competitive. “Competition can be good for some and detrimental to others,”according to Dr. Winston. “You have to know your child and don’t force them to re-live your experiences...Overall competition is a good thing but there are different levels...the best interests of the child should always be kept forefront in the child’s mind.”

Balance: How to Keep Practices Positive
When kids are starting out, parents can teach them, play with them and be their first coach in a sense. “Kids desperately need encouragement,” says Lorna Blumen.

“Focus on what they’re doing RIGHT and improvement will happen bit by bit. If your child is really keen on sports they’ll probably come to you for FUN practice. She also suggests helping your child to take the pressure off by offering schedule planning. For instance say to your child: “Can we talk for a few minutes about how much homework you have on top of your hockey tournament?” Make sure to schedule some down time for you and your child, she adds.

So that's why the focus needs to be less on pressure, and more on positive experiences. Parents need to take the long view - what's great is if a kid gets a lifetime of enjoyment and healthy living out of his or her sports.

Tips on how parents can be helpful
So how can parents be most helpful to their kids in this process of marshalling them through the world of organized sports? Even if fun is paramount, there is still a basic commitment to team and practice involved. And kids often want to drop out right away if they have negative experiences their first few times out.

Here are points to keep in mind that will help to keep your child playing and happy.

• Make it fun and they’ll want to come.
• Adults (parents, coaches, volunteers) should provide a relaxed and supportive
atmosphere.
• Children should be praised just for participating.
• Be a role-model for your child and the team demonstrating what good sportsmanship is all about.
• Do not have unrealistic expectations.
• Children should not be pressured to focus only on winning.
• Mistakes are inevitable when learning a sport and these make for valuable learning experiences when handled calmly and supportively. They can be devastating when handled harshly.